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    from the Griffin Poetry Prize Shortlists and Winners

    The Ha-Ha

    David Kirby

    2004 International Shortlist

    Click here to purchase The Ha-Ha, by David Kirby

    Borges at the Northside Rotary

    If in the following pages there is some successful verse or other,
    may the reader forgive me the audacity of having written it before him.

    – Jorge Luis Borges, foreword to his first book of poems

    After they go to the podium and turn in their Happy Bucks
      and recite the Pledge of Allegiance
    and the Four Truths ("Is it the Truth?
        Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill
    and better friendships? Will it be beneficial
      to all concerned?"), I get up to read my poetry.

    and when I'm finished, one Rotarian expresses
      understandable confusion at exactly what it is
    I'm doing and wants to know what poetry is, exactly,
        so I tell him that when most nonpoets think
    of the word "poetry," they think of "lyric poetry,"
      not "narrative poetry," whereas what I'm doing

    is "narrative poetry" of the kind performed
      by, not that I am in any way comparing myself
    to them, Homer, Dante, and Milton,
        and he's liking this, he's smiling and nodding,
    and when I finish my little speech,
      he shouts, "Thank you, Doctor! Thank you

    for educating us!" And for the purposes
      of this poem, he will be known hereafter
    as the Nice Rotarian. But now while I was reading,
        there was this other Rotarian who kept talking
    all the time, just jacked his jaw right through
      the poet's presentations of some of the finest

    vers libre available to today's listening audience,
      and he shall be known hereafter as the Loud Rotarian.
    Nice Rotarian, Loud Rotarian: it's kind of like Good Cop,
        Bad Cop or God the Father, Mary the Mother.
    Buy Low, Sell High. Win Some, Lose Some.
      Comme Ci, Comme Ça. Half Empty, Half Full.

    But in a sense the Loud Rotarian was the honest one;
      he didn't like my poetry and said so - not in so many words,
    but in the words he used to his tablemates
        as he spoke of his golf game or theirs
    or the weather or the market or, most likely,
      some good deed that he was the spearchucker on,

    the poobah, the mucky-muck, the head honcho,
      for one thing I learned very quickly
    was that Rotarians are absolutely nuts
        over good deeds and send doctors to Africa
    and take handicapped kids on fishing trips
      and just generally either do all sorts of hands-on

    projects themselves or else raise a ton of money
      so they can get somebody else to do it for them,
    whereas virtually every poet I know, myself included,
        spends his time either trying to get a line right
    or else feeling sorry for himself and maybe writing a check
      once a year to the United Way if the United Way's lucky.

    The Nice Rotarian was probably just agreeing with me,
      just swapping the geese and fish of his words
    with the bright mirrors and pretty beads of mine,
        for how queer it is to be understood by someone
    on the subject of anything, given that,
      as Norman O. Brown says, the meaning of things

    is not in the things themselves but between them,
      as it surely was that time those kids scared us so bad
    in Paris: Barbara and I had got on the wrong train, see,
        and when it stopped, it wasn't at the station
    two blocks from our apartment but one
      that was twenty miles outside of the city,

    and we looked for someone to tell us how
      to get back, but the trains had pretty much stopped
    for the evening, and then out of the dark
        swaggered four Tunisian teenagers,
    and as three of them circled us, the fourth
      stepped up and asked the universal ice-breaker,

    i.e. Q.: Do you have a cigarette?
      A.: Non, je ne fume pas.
    Q.: You're not French, are you?
        A.: Non, je suis américain. Q.: From New York?
    A.: Non, Florida. Q.: Miami?
      A.: Non, une petite ville qui s'appelle Tallahassee.

    dans le nord de … And here the Tunisian kid
      mimes a quarterback passing and says, Ah,
    l'université avec la bonne equipe de futbol!

        He was a fan of FSU sports, of all things
    so we talked football for a while, and then
      he told us where to go for the last train.

    Change one little thing in my life or theirs
      and they or I could have been either the Loud Rotarian
    or the Nice one, and so I say to Rotarians everywhere,
        please forgive me,
    my brothers, for what I have done to you
      and to myself as well,

    for circumstances so influence us
      that it is more than an accident
    than anything else that you are listening to me
        and not the other way around,
    and therefore I beg your forgiveness, my friends,
      if I wrote this poem before you did.

    From The Ha-Ha, by David Kirby
    Copyright © 2003

    Listen to David Kirby read Borges at the Northside Rotary

    Click here to listen to David Kirby read Borges at the Northside Rotary.

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