Please Print Clearly in Block Letters
by Ian Williams

copyright © Ian Williams 2012

Name. Permanent address. Mailing address (if different).
Will you want me when I ask you to vacuum the stairs
with the hose attachment? Daytime telephone number.
when we are eating cabbage for the third straight night?
Evening. Cell. Email. when you hear my footsteps
descend the basement stairs during the Leafs game?

Date of birth. Sex. Marital status. Will you want me
when birds walk across my face? Employment
in the last two years. and I give up mowing
my legs? From. To. give up dusting my cheeks?
From. To. give up Restylane?

contact information. when I sit on the toilet seat
of the ensuite weeping? Name. over a clot of blood?
Relationship. over nothing? Telephone. Would you if I migrate
Type of card. Name on card. Card number. if I start calling
you Mr. Shopkeeper? Date of expiry. if I keep asking you if
you’ll be getting any milk soon for the baby?

(Optional) Choose a security question. Would you want me
if I lose a limb? Mother’s maiden name. if I lose a breast?
Year of father’s birth. Will you want me when
I declare the above statements are true. I lose half of me?
Signature. Date. and half of you?